Location: Washington, D.C. to nearby Potomac, MD.
Rapid progression of my pain and nothing definitive to pinpoint the beginning of the cause are two major reasons you, your spouse, and those that you love will begin playing the guessing game. My wife, my parents, her parents, our family, and I were all on red alert. The acronym CRPS was yet to be on our radar. Crissy and I were doing our best to adapt and then take proactive steps at bettering my health.
Our first crack at shaking up the status quo came by way of our move from our D.C. row home and into my in-law’s home in Potomac for a couple of weeks to see if it helps calm my health issues. We didn’t want to leave our home or D.C. though we saw signs of mold in our home plus and we wondered if perhaps I was having a poor reaction. We thought maybe even a brief change in scenery might help. So there we began. On a cold Saturday in January, we our slow and steady move.
Nobody enjoys moving his or her home. Even if you’re moving into a shiny new “better” home, you can be excited about what a new home might bring to your life and will still find it impossible to like moving. In our case, only Crissy did all of the heavily lifting and essentially the full move because I physically could not do much of anything so I’m pretty, pretty sure she hated moving our home mostly by herself – trust me, I still hear about it from time-to-time. Generally speaking, our dislike is more because we all naturally have some degree of fear for change, dislike saying goodbye to a part of your life or someone in it, or dread the challenges involved with the physical, mental, and emotional stress involved with preparation leading up to and through the move? To throw another wrinkle in there, how do those feelings change when faced with perceived imminent necessity?
Adapt or die.
Evolution can be summarized in those three simple words above. The three words sound awfully harsh and no, I was nowhere close to dying. The phrase stems from Darwin’s theory of evolution. Understanding the validity of the expression is among life’s most crucial lessons. In order to best take care of any present challenge, you can either adapt to your new environment and thereby preserve your spot in the future, or you can continue to do the same thing at your own demise.
The Academy Award nominated movie, Moneyball, based upon Michael Lewis’s book about Billy Beane and the Oakland Athletics groundbreaking and revolutionizing approach to building a Major League Baseball (MLB) baseball team, stars Brad Pitt and features a scene with Beane (Pitt) that drives home the adapt or die principles. Beane had the indelible task of convincing baseball lifers to accept and adapt a new way to work smarter and not harder as some might say. While Beane was reacting to years of losing in Oakland, he did his homework and became proactive with his new approach for success. He leaves his adapt or die approach quite bluntly with a top scout. Get on board with the new winning ways or remain stuck in your ways where you’ll be a relic of the past. Beane had to tell the lifelong scout that his methods were more astute than the prideful lifelong scout’s.
Our situation in some ways mirrors the great scene in the film. Initially, she was more prepared to adapt than me. She had the vision that a move might be able to help us both through what looked like it could be a difficult stretch. I was with her, but also worried about remaining close to work for an easy commute and also concerned about breaking our lease. Crissy shed the shackles of comfort while I was literally and figuratively tucked into the proverbial bed with the blanket of comfort over me. I spent that first part of the move on Saturday January 11th in bed trying to rest after the terrible night before. I think I made the pain worse by continuing to be concerned with image. Moving into her father and stepmother’s home also felt wrong. It again felt like I had failed my wife and so many other people I love. A large part of me wanted to prove I could beat whatever ailed me in the comfort of my own surroundings just to show I was in control of my life. Once I stopped my unproductive pity party to adapt and adopt the moving mindset that day, it freed my mind of stress involved with moving and allowed me to more easily focus on getting well and dedicate the rest of my energy to crushing my sales goal (which I eventually did).
Looking into the mirror often gives you the 20/20 vision not available during times of immense stress. I’m not advising anyone to fixate on the past. Reflecting upon the past can help you learn from history. Our decision would end up becoming vital in the days, weeks, and months ahead. Like Beane, our adaptive decisions would set us up to become more proactive in my care for the weeks and months ahead. Down the road, we would benefit from lowering monthly bills while on disability, being a little closer to my parents, it put my now overextended wife closer to her office, and it put us near several of the practitioners I would later come to work with during my bout with CRPS. We’ve now stayed in my in-law’s home for almost a full year and we’ll look to get back on our own feet once I move closer to remission.
I once had a boss who would constantly coach our sales team toward proactive behavior and execute your plan to it’s fullest. This isn’t a just a business lesson. Quite simply, take control of your life and the things you want to get out of it. If you don’t feel well, take steps to change it. If you’re not happy with something, pivot and take action. Be proactive. Adapt or die.
Beat CRPS!
Jason